With Big Brother — er, Google watching, no crime is hidden from view. Here are just a few instances of crime and punishment caught on its Street View feature.
1. Reckless Driving
“I didn’t realize this was a no parking tree.”
Mildly Reprehensible Knievel.
Timmy made extra money working as a bicycle airbag.
2. Burglary/Theft
Either this is Spiderman’s laundry day, or this guy’s trying to break in.
It’s awfully nice of him to steal a bicycle for his imaginary friend.
I’m thinking that’s not the Staples parking lot.
3. Vandalism/Destruction of Property
Short on money, Joe tried deserpately to paint an ATM.
Before she buys a car, she kicks the tires…and the door…and the side-view mirror…and the salesman.
4. Public Intoxication
In his defense, that light pole would fall down if he wasn’t there.
Few have seen the alley behind Sesame Street.
The park: where everybody knows your name.
5. Assault and Battery
This beatdown went on for 16 units!
Practicing for their middle school production of Rocky III.
Never too young to commit a felony.
6. Indecent Exposure
Trying to build up her resume for that Girls Gone Wild application.
7. Brandishing a Deadly Weapon
We’re pretty sure this is a toy gun.
This, on the other hand…
“There can be only one!”
8. Illegal Parking
Unless this is a hover car, it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
“The white curb is for gelato loading and unloading only…”
Citation for Driving a Vespa While Male.
9. Prostitution
Even Cinderella was hurt by the recession.
Must be the car.
Hooker? I hardly know her!
10. Joyriding
OK, this is a Google Earth photo, but it’s clear that someone’s taking their frustrations out on a baseball field.
11. Underage Smoking
Blurring your hair won’t hide your shame.
12. Speeding
Busted.
Erik Estrada don’t play that.
“I’m sorry ma’am, this is a no Schwinn situation.”
13. Drug Dealing
That car was made for buying drugs.
Obviously peddling crack.
14. Jaywalking
Not using a crosswalk…
Not waiting for the light…
Not living in reality.
15. Lewd Behavior
I don’t wanna know what’s going on here…OK, maybe I do.
Can’t you at least wait ’til you get home to blow it up?
16. Failure to Obey a Street Sign
The Google car is apparently above the law.
17. Arson?
Aftermath of the Great Tulip Riot of ’07.
What fire?
18. Public Urination
A menage-a-tinkle.
“The bush was on fire.”
Guilty.
19. Stalking
“Soon, that sarong will be mine…”
20. Unspecified Offenses
“Sir, your rims are just too shiny.”
“I swear, someone put that construction cone in my pants.”
When the police station runs out of coffee, 7-11 gets shut down.